It’s 3 in the morning and I am wide awake. I am laughing as I type this because I always start the posts about my life in the same manner, everytime and now I am begining to laugh at my mundaneness. I am awake because I didn’t sleep the day before yesterday as I was with my brother and we were discussing how fucked up our respective life are and how he can’t stand anymore of my grandma and her judgemental comments and so I slept through the whole freaking yesterday ad now, I can’t sleep. My college is off and I am home since 1st of June and I can’t wait to go back, I am literally done with home but I know how I am, I’ll miss it the moment I’ll step in Delhi. Why am I like this?
I am glad that I did something or the other that you all can call productive this vacation like I have started writing diary and I hope I will maintain that. I read a book about LGBTQ community and I think I am now more vocal and aware about how things are and what my stand is regarding the same. I used to read 5 to 6 books a month and now, all I can manage to complete is only one. I don’t know what is up with my reading habit but I know, I will get back to my reading obsession soon. I have also started sketching, drawing and doodling. I met a lot of people, made new friends and have grown very close to some. My friendship with Kanika and Kanwar has grown over the past few months and I think they are here to stay and if not, I will go to any length to keep them by my side forever. The reason why I like them is that I can talk about life with them which otherwise I feel uncomfortable and vulnarable talking about. I really don’t know what this friendship and our equation has to do with whatever I share with them but all I know is that they are people I can call mine and I think, that’s what really matters. All three of us have shared so much about each other that I can barely recall how we started talking and got so close. I am glad that they accept the way I am and don’t force their opinions down my throat. Before getting close to them I always had this preconceived notion that people are complex and they are going to come and go and that’s how it is but I never knew that some are really going to cling by your side and I think, that’s what surprises me about them because I am a really tough person to be friends with. I don’t have to be pretencious or deliberately have to have a point in order to make my presence felt, I can just sit and not talk and they’ll acknowledg me that way. I just hope that things go well with our respective life because that’s all we really have apart from people in it.