Why don’t you?

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I am finally home after 4 months, I guess. My mummy is pissing me off every now and then because all I do is sleep but it’s good to be home. Also, to utilise these two months, I have decided to contribute to my friend’s blog which accumulates write ups from many other people. So this way, I’ll be regular with this writing stuff. The following poem is my first write up to that blog, tell me what y’all think about the same. Thanks. 

Location :: Lighthouse beach, Kerala. That was my first time at a beach. I was happy.

Today, I won’t look for pictures which chronicle our love.

I won’t look for books piled up in sacks of our story.
Won’t look for places either, weening us sitting right next to each other,

Window seat of a train moving amidst the green, giving our talks about love and god knows what, a companion.

I won’t think of all our endless nights and the conversations we had under the greasy sheets of that motel with an entrance adjacent to the parking lot which made me cringe at the thought of it, every fucking time. Also, just so you know it still does. 

It amazes me how I am trying not to think of all the things that involve you but I end up doing the same. 

Again and again, year after year.

Why don’t you? 

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Change 

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I started my blog around June of 2015 and since then I haven’t even touched anything related to its appreance let alone customizing. Now that my exams are over and I have so much time on myslef that I spend half of it in sleeping and rest by scrolling past memes, which reminds me that I’m finally changing my pg and my new pg is amazing and spacious and a little less annoying. I am just worried about the shifting process otherwise I’m okay with everything. Since it has been three years that I haven’t changed anything about my blog I thought, I should because change is inevitable and necessary. Plus, I am literally bored with the old theme.  This time, I opted for Dyad 2 as my theme. I really like this theme since it is pretty subtle and doesn’t disclose a lot about me which I think is going to provoke everyone to fondle upon the posts. I also spent a large span of time on focusing on detailing of my blog. Thinking of changing and deciding fonts, header image and various other settings is way more easy when you sit to actually do the same. I had real trouble in previewing the themes while trying different ones. I am at least glad that I am not wasting my time and utilising it pretty propely like humans. Please check out my blog and tell me in the comments, what you think about the new theme? 

See you around, xo. 

Life on 17th May, 2017

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It’s almost 4 in the morning and I’m wide awake. I have my Economics exam tomorrow and I haven’t studied a thing. I think, I’ve become habitual to sleeping and waking up late. My life is a mess right now, days are just plain sad or fine and nothing near good. I met a lot of new people but got really close to only one. He has become kind of very close, someone I can cling onto but things aren’t going quite well with him too. Why do I end up disappointing people? Why am I such a hard person to love? 

Today, I realized a thing that no matter how many people I meet or am going to meet noone is close enough on which I can rely on or like, say stuff about what is really going on in my mind and go on with my rant like, hey! I cried last night and talks like that. I think, I won’t be able to make myself comfortable with anyone. I am just waiting for my exams to get over so that I can go home and isolate myself from all that has been going wrong.