Life on 19th Spetember, 2017

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This is a picture of me in my natural habitat.

It’s 3 in the morning and I’m as usual back to the blog about which I almost forgot. I ended a lot of things and relationships that I had with people and begin new ones and decided to make myself as the priority than other things and people. I auditioned for the Dramatics society of my college and got through, in order to keep myself occupied, simultaneously I’m learning new things hence, growing as a person. I have started talking less to people, about people, with people and my chats mainly include various groups that I’m a part of, involvement in which is next to negligible. I don’t feel like talking to people since all they come up with is their problems and their life and I realized that nobody is really interested in whatever going on in my life. Life is right now going like a Cigarettes after sex‘s song, slow, steady and numb. Only happening things in my life right now are my cousin’s marriage and my dramatics society which take most of my time for which I’m grateful.

I think, I should sleep now and I know that even after saying this I won’t. I have an assignment due the day after tomorrow about which I know nothing, I don’t know how I’m going to do stuff. Lets see. 

Love, xo. 

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Why don’t you?

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I am finally home after 4 months, I guess. My mummy is pissing me off every now and then because all I do is sleep but it’s good to be home. Also, to utilise these two months, I have decided to contribute to my friend’s blog which accumulates write ups from many other people. So this way, I’ll be regular with this writing stuff. The following poem is my first write up to that blog, tell me what y’all think about the same. Thanks. 

Location :: Lighthouse beach, Kerala. That was my first time at a beach. I was happy.

Today, I won’t look for pictures which chronicle our love.

I won’t look for books piled up in sacks of our story.
Won’t look for places either, weening us sitting right next to each other,

Window seat of a train moving amidst the green, giving our talks about love and god knows what, a companion.

I won’t think of all our endless nights and the conversations we had under the greasy sheets of that motel with an entrance adjacent to the parking lot which made me cringe at the thought of it, every fucking time. Also, just so you know it still does. 

It amazes me how I am trying not to think of all the things that involve you but I end up doing the same. 

Again and again, year after year.

Why don’t you? 

And then it was Winter

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I whiffed apathy and seclusion from what was left, right and everywhere like a skunk giving off it’s noxious smell. 

It was Winter.

All of this seemed one malarkey when it rained that day. It was tough to swallow the fact that it was raining, in Winters. It rained so heavily that everything I believed or heard or saw made no sense as world around me grew perturbed, more and more with every whiff I took.